Caring for Baby: Pearls of wisdom from my experience

I learned something interesting from my little 6 month old baby. You see, I have him on a schedule for eating, which is somewhat flexible. He has a bottle of formula every 3-4 hours. He eats two vegetables a day, and cereal in the morning and at night. He is a very hungry baby and is a good eater. I anticipate his feeding times by having bottles prepared in advance. I warm up the bottle as soon as I see or hear that he is beginning to stir. Most times, I get a small whimper out of him and he is satisfied once he gets the bottle. There are times when you won't even know that he is awake. I go, pick him up and feed him, he burps, and then he gets changed.

Now, Dad is a different story. I have the advantage of having a 15 year old son and previous child rearing experience. Daddy is a new parent, but comes from a different cultural background and wants to feel his way through this process, rather than being told what to do and what not to do. He doesn't like to feed the baby on schedule and when he finally feeds the baby, my son is crying hysterically and has difficulty feeding. Hubby then has the opinion that he is spoiled or being difficult. If baby is sleeping, he will let him sleep until he wakes up, even if it renders him far from the plan. As a result, feeding times are often difficult with him and the baby reacts much differently when he sees daddy coming versus mommy. My little one smiles and laughs when he sees me coming. We spend time together playing and bonding. And I make sure that I anticipate his needs and learn his cries. Thanks Dr. Dunstan! When baby sees Daddy, he cries very loud and hysterical to let him know that he really needs to eat. There is not the peace that we have in our normal routine. I don't have a Ph.D in child psychology, nor am I a pediatrician. I am a Mom who has had to raise a male child alone for 13 years. I have experience and wisdom, not tooting my own horn, from very difficult times and challenges. I also learned from the positive experiences as well. I studied every book I could study to make sure that I would not mess him up. I think I did a pretty good job. The purpose of this is not to bash my dear loving husband. The purpose is to help others not to make the same mistakes that we make. We learn from our mistakes and we pass them on to other new parents who are looking for testimonies and answers to their questions. So, I am going to make a few suggestions that I think one will find useful.

First, does the baby respond to regiments and schedules? If so, do things on purpose. Anticipate the needs of your baby and meet them. Set alarms if you have to. You will build trust in your baby and he will not have to perform to get what he needs. You can't spoil your baby. There will be so much more peace in your life. Second, is your baby more relaxed and easy going, or do you feed on demand? If so, you still have to anticipate the baby's needs by interpreting the cries and being prepared. This baby may eat 4 hours one time and then 2 hours the next, and so on. There is nothing like organization. It will reduce the stress in any situation. Third, don't criticize your husband's tactics in caring for the baby, if you disagree. Rather, point out what you do like that he does. Praise is important. For instance, my husband is very thorough with the bathing and diapering. I know my baby is clean and protected. I tell him often that I appreciate it and I compliment him on how clean the baby looks and smells. Don't mention the things that you could care less for until you have delivered the positive. It is all in the way you serve it up. After I compliment my husband on what I like, I then tell him what I do with feeding that really works for me and the baby. Perhaps, you can suggest a trade off. You each can take responsibility for the thing that you do best more often. Encourage your husband to try your suggestion and take note of the changes that he sees in the baby when he does. Praise him again when you see it happen. He is not a puppy, but who doesn't like praise! God requires His praise all the time. We need it a little. Maybe even solicit your husband for things that he doesn't like that you do, but be prepared for the emotion behind that!

Finally, remember that you will create memories for your children when they learn to trust that you will take care of them and not leave them cared for. What you do in infancy will make it easier when they are toddlers and up. Here is a great example, my oldest son had a bath and a snack every night from a young age. We read a book, and we prayed together. As he got older, I never had to fight with him about personal hygiene, he loved reading, loved to pray, and he would still go for the snack from time to time as a teenager.

The most important thing is that your baby needs your unconditional love even when you or the baby are having an off day. Don't feel bad about getting a sitter for a few hours if you feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities. Step away, take care of yourself, and come back to give your baby all of you. I hope that one will find one pearl amidst the words that will help them improve relationships with hubby and the children. Be blessed.

Believe God

I was staring at my 25 week old son today and was thankful to God that he is healthy and developmentally intact. I feel so blessed to have this child in my life and I am honored that God would trust me to raise him. Months before, the doctors were suggesting that we terminate the pregnancy because they found issues with his brain. My husband and I stood on our faith in Jesus Christ, that He would heal our baby and he would go on to have a healthy life that would bring Him glory. After much prayer of many around the nation and the world, our baby got a clean bill of health. He was born at 38 weeks gestation at a whopping 8lbs and 14 oz.

I say all of this to say, never doubt God and teach your children to do the same at a young age. There is nothing too hard for him. And while there is definitely a need for doctors, I know who the Great Physician is. The doctors may give us results that we don't want to hear and we have to choose which report we are going to believe. I am telling you to believe the report of the Lord and do not waiver in your faith. Naturally, the enemy will bring unbelief and we have to cast down those thoughts and imaginations and replace them with the Word of God. When our children see how we respond to our afflictions, trials, and tribulations, it will encourage them in their walk and it will duplicate in their lives and their children's lives.